Grief is Like a Roller Coaster

The Rollercoaster of Grief

“Am I grieving the right way?” Because grief is a subject not often talked about in our society, there are unspoken rules about how much emotion is considered acceptable and at some point after the death, typically within the first two to three months of loss the bereaved are expected to “move on” from the grief. The truth is there is no “one right way” to grieve. Grief is a natural reaction to loss. Each grief experience is unique and is based on multiple factors such as the quality of the relationship between the bereaved and their deceased loved one and the coping style of the bereaved.

Instead of thinking of grief as linear, like stops on a train, think of it as a roller coaster with ups, downs, and loops. Sometimes you feel light and other times you feel heavy. There will be days that you feel positive and optimistic about your healing only to spiral back into sadness and emotional pain within days or hours. There is no specific pattern to grief, no stages we are supposed to attain. Once we understand that there is no “right” way to grieve, we can give ourselves permission to have any feelings that come along. We can accept that the swings in emotions are in fact, part of the process of grief.