A New Year’s Resolution for Grievers

As family and friends bustle around making plans for New Year’s Eve, what they are going to wear, where they are going to go, who they are going to be with as the clock strikes New Year, grievers are thinking something completely different. We are thinking reflecting on past New Year’s Eve memories and how we’d could go back in time to enjoy them again, even if it is just curled up on the couch to watch the ball drop in New York Times Square. Then we reflect on the year we’ve had. Has it already been a year? How can I go into the next one without them? What could I possibly put down as a New Year’s Resolution? Suddenly all of the resolutions of the past seem so silly. Quit Smoking. Lose 20 Pounds. Moderate Screen Time. First of all 80% of resolutions are discarded by Mid February. Second, after you have lost a loved one none of the things on a resolution list seem important. It got me thinking, what would be my New Year’s Resolution as a griever. Here are a few to choose from:

Allowing Myself to Grieve: I resolve to honor my emotions and allow myself the time and space to grieve in my own way, without pressure or guilt.

Practicing Self-Compassion: I resolve to be kind to myself, acknowledging that healing takes time and it's okay to have moments of sadness or difficulty.

Creating Moments of Remembrance: I resolve to find ways to honor and remember my loved one, whether through rituals, dedications, or keeping memories alive in small, meaningful ways.

Setting Realistic Expectations: I resolve to set realistic goals for myself, understanding that healing is a journey and it's okay if progress is gradual. And it is okay if it happens on my time and not on anyone else’s.

Finding Joy Amidst Grief: I resolve to seek moments of joy or gratitude, acknowledging that it's okay to experience happiness even while grieving.

Connecting with Others: I resolve to nurture positive connections with loved ones, finding comfort in their presence and sharing memories or thoughts when I'm ready.

Embracing Hope: I resolve to hold onto hope, understanding that healing is possible, and that with time, I can find peace and acceptance.

These resolutions focus on self-care, acceptance, and honoring the grief process. It's important to remember that there's no right or wrong way to grieve and that any resolution you make are meant to support a healing journey in a compassionate manner. If setting a New Year’s resolution feels overwhelming simply remind yourself that you are grieving in the manner and time that you are meant to.