Assessing Holiday Traditions
The holiday season can be a mix of joy and tough moments, especially when you're dealing with grief. But guess what? I've got a few tips that might just make things a bit easier this year.
First things first: surround yourself with the people who are willing to go there with you, the ones who shower you with love and support. Memories can be a real lifeline and sharing stories and flipping through old photo albums can bring some comfort in those tough moments.
Now, here's a one that seems counterintuitive but the hardest to do, especially when grieving: take care of yourself. I mean it. Alcohol or other vices might seem like a quick fix for your mood, but, there are better ways. Try going for a run or pour your heart into a journal. Give yourself permission to buy a self care item for yourself like bath balms, oils, or new makeup for example—just because you deserve it. Whatever it is, try it and see if your mood improves just a little. The point is not to bury your grief or make it go away, the point is to give your mind a much need grief break, but in a healthy way.
When it comes to holiday expectations, take a good look at what you usually do during the celebrations. Do you really want to keep at it this year? It's okay to mix things up. If crowds or certain memories feel too heavy, there's nothing wrong with doing something different. And as tempting as it might be to cancel everything, maybe find a middle ground, or better yet, find someone who can help you accomplish it. Have a trusted person buy the toys for the kids or host the holiday party this year. Maybe mix in some new traditions with the old—create a memory box, light a candle, or play your loved one's favorite tunes. It's all about finding what feels good for you.
Remember, it is expected to experience many emotions during the holidays: joy, sadness, anger, grief—they're all part of the journey. There's no rulebook for grieving, no right or wrong way to do it. And just because you're laughing doesn't mean you've forgotten your loved one. It's all part of the process.
Bottom line: Take it easy on yourself. The holidays might feel heavy, but you're doing great. Lean on the love around you, take care of yourself, and honor those memories—they're what make this season uniquely yours.